FRED'S ARGUMENT WITH HIMSELF

by Fr. Andrew Marr, OSB

Once upon a time there was Fred. Fred had a body, a heart, a mind, a soul and a spirit. The trouble with Fred was that he could not agree with himself. His mind, his heart, his soul, his spirit, and his body argued among themselves so constantly they left him no peace and quiet.

"We have to analyze everything in the world by noting their component parts and studying their interactions, actions and reactions," said Fred's mind. "We must record all our data. We must know what everything is by giving everything its proper name. The better to know what everything is and to know what everything can do, we must conduct experiments and note the results most carefully."

"What use are names and data and experiments if we are going to be loving?" asked Fred's heart. "How can knowing the component parts of a cat help us make a cat feel loved? Trees want to be loved just for being themselves, not for what their molecules are."

"Leaves on a tree shimmer in the sunlight," said Fred's body. "Cats are such beautiful animals with their strokable fur. Here is a darling orange, fluffy cat purring with delight. There is no time for thinking or loving if we wish to enjoy these things. How can I enjoy a milkshake if I have to make a list of its vitamins and minerals or tell it how much I love it? I can't talk and drink at the same time."

"You are most selfish," Fred's mind said to his heart and body. "We must give up all delight in order to understand reality. We must conduct experiments on milkshakes to make sure they have the requisite nutrients. We must make up theories that will tell people how to interact with trees and cats for the greatest good of all."

"All we have to do is love one another," protested Fred's heart. "If we do, we will get along without any of your theories, O mind. And love must be pure, O body. If we start petting cats, we become absorbed in petting them instead of loving them. Simply to enjoy a cat is your selfish wish."

"Call me selfish if you like," said Fred's body. "But if nobody embraces me and makes me happy by giving me milk shakes, I don't feel loved. Does a cat feel loved if a hand never touches it? I can only see love when it is alive in the eyes of others. I see nothing in a gushing heart or a mind dreaming up ideas about the greatest good."

At this point, a bearded man in rags walked by. He was holding a sign that read: "Repent! Save your soul!"

"That's good advice," said Fred. "But what is my soul so I can save it?"

"Why, I am the soul," said Fred's mind. "I know what is true and I know what should be done about it. What more soul do you need?"

"I am the soul!" cried Fred's heart. "I reach out to everything and everybody with love. What more do you need?"

"I am the soul," insisted Fred's body. "I quiver with excitement every time I sip a raspberry milkshake or pet a light gray cat. What more soul do you need?"

The Wind blew around Fred and through him. In the Wind were the words: "Fear God and love Him in the Spirit."

"That's very good advice indeed," said Fred to himself. "Surely you all agree with that!"

"Of course, I agree," said Fred's mind. "I can prove to you that God exists and that the essence of God is His existence. Because His essence is what it is, He must be feared and loved."

"Yes, love God," said Fred's heart. "What use are proofs and thoughts about God? All we need to do is reach out to Him in love."

"And to reach out to God in love," said Fred's body, "we have to walk in His way and love all that He has made. And how can you walk in His way without a pair of legs?"

So Fred still found no agreement between his mind, his heart and his body. His soul and his spirit had nothing to say. They just let his mind and heart and body fight over him. So Fred decided to put an end to the argument once and for all.

"I have the solution," Fred announced to himself.

"It must be just," said Fred's mind. "Give every person and thing its due."

"It will be just," said Fred.

"It must be loving," said Fred's heart. "Everything and everybody must be loved."

"It will be loving," said Fred.

"And it must let me delight in blue skies and beautiful cats and tasty milkshakes," said Fred's body.

"You will have all the blue skies, beautiful cats and tasty milkshakes you want," said Fred.

Then Fred told his mind, his heart and his body to each go their separate ways and do what they liked since they could not live together. So they did. As for Fred, he was left all alone in peace and quiet, only there was nothing left of him to enjoy the peace and quiet.

Fred's mind went about in the world. With no heart and body to distract it and take up its time with their demands, his mind collected so many facts and names and dates and theories, that it could have filled whole libraries with books, if only it had a pair of hands to write with. It knew why the sky was blue, although it could see no colors. It knew every molecule in milkshakes and could name every part of a cat's anatomy. But it could neither see nor touch as much as a cat's whisker. It also thought up all kinds of experiments to add to its knowledge about cats and milkshakes. After all, Fred's heart was not on hand to complain about the need to care about how cats felt about experiments. But it could not move test tubes about in a laboratory. Fred's mind pondered all the possible interactions between trees and cats and people and came to the conclusion that love was the essential ingredient for the best possible interactions leading to the greatest good for all. But it could not understand its idea of love. Fred's mind could outline all the proofs of God's existence, but it neither feared God nor loved Him.

Fred's heart was surprised that it did not even go out with a heart. Fred's body must have taken it. That heartbeat, so familiar to it, was gone. But free from distracting thoughts and the body's demands, Fred's heart reached out to all the plants and animals and people with love. Nobody responded to the love in Fred's heart. That was fine, since love was not supposed to care about receiving anything in return. Fred's heart listened to heart-rending cries of joy and pain but could understand none of them. All it could do was love them. But it had no hands, no eyes, and no lips with which it could even give them the comfort of love. Fred's heart also reached out in love beyond all plants, all animals and all people, but it did not know what it reached out to. Fred's heart loved and feared, but it did not love and fear God.

Fred's body was having a wonderful time, or so one would have thought. Sometimes it sat out under the bright sun and other times it sat in the shade of trees. It stroked the fur of every cat it came across and drank all the milkshakes it wanted. But Fred's body enjoyed nothing that it did. It no longer knew what the sun was, neither did it know what it was stroking with its hands or drinking through its lips. And it didn't care, for its heart kept on beating without any heart. It could not even think of how much fun it was having. Fred's body had no thought of God so it neither loved nor feared Him. The body's feet could walk, but where it went it neither knew nor cared.

Fred's mind came to the conclusion that it could do nothing about all the knowledge and thoughts and insights it had without a heart to care about them and a body to act on them. But its thoughts could not bring Fred's heart and body back to it. Fred's heart yearned to know what it was reaching out to in love so it could love more deeply and wisely. But its will could not make Fred's mind and body return to it. And Fred's body would have come running back to his mind and heart so it could enjoy drinking milkshakes and petting cats once again if it could have thought of doing that and willed to do so.

Then, the Wind that blows throughout the world blew through Fred's mind, his heart, and his body and brought them all back together. They were so glad to be with one another again that they gave each other the credit for arranging the reunion. Fred welcomed them with open arms, an open heart and an open mind since he preferred being somebody once again instead of nothing.

The bearded man in rags walked by once again with his sign: "Repent! Save your soul!" This time, Fred's mind and heart and body knew they were a soul when they worked together. None of them could be saved on its own.

Neither could they move together except when the Wind blew through Fred with the words: "Fear God, and love Him in the Spirit." In that Wind Fred found that the more he petted the cats, the more he loved them. The more he loved them, the more he knew about them. And the more Fred learned about cats, the more he loved them. The more deeply he loved them, the more often he petted them. Now Fred's mind and heart and body knew the truth about God, loved Him, and walked in God's ways.