CAUGHT BY A CATCH

by Andrew Marr, OSB

"I'll never catch anything," Gregory complained as he reeled in his line yet again. "It's my birthday, too. You'd think I'd at least catch something on my birthday."

Calibur sat placidly on the dock next to Gregory. The unicorn gave no sign that he thought Gregory deserved to catch a fish just because it was his birthday. But then, Calibur gave no sign that Gregory did not deserve to catch a fish to celebrate to occasion, either.

With his patience growing short, Gregory cast out his line again. His worm landed in the water and the bobber floated on top. Gregory waited. There was not a sign of a nibble.

"Fishing's no good," Gregory muttered to himself. "What good is it to live on a lake if you can't catch any fish? What good is a birthday if you can't even catch one fish as a birthday present?"

Calibur nudged Gregory affectionately to console him, but Gregory, not feeling like being consoled for catching nothing, shoved Calibur away. The bobber continued to sit on top of the water, as still as a stone in the front yard. Gregory's father had told his son more than once that half the fun of fishing was in the peace and quiet of waiting for something to happen. Maybe so, but this morning there was just too much peace and quiet. Maybe the fish were too deep in the water, since it was a hot day, even in the morning. Gregory once asked an old man who worked around the house how deep the lake was. "As deep as deep can be," is what the old man answered.

The peace and quiet that Gregory did not want ended abruptly when a tug on his fishline almost pulled the pole out of his hands. Excitedly, Gregory tried to reel in the big fish he had wished for, but he couldn't. Instead, the line kept rolling out the wrong way, deeper and farther into the lake. Calibur stood up in an alert position, his nose twitching, as if he expected something exciting to happen. And it did. Just as Gregory tried to get a firmer grip on the fish pole, he found himself flying off the dock and into the water. Stubbornly unwilling to let any fish get the better of him, Gregory kept on battling even as the fish pulled him deeper and deeper across the water, as if it were a motorboat taking him water skiing.

Once Gregory had pulled to the center of the lake where the water was as deep as deep can be, the fish plunged towards the bottom, taking Gregory with him. Gregory held his breath to the bursting point, and then held his breath even longer as he continued to keep on going down and down. The water became darker and darker, but at the bottom, there was something darker still. Determined to catch the fish and bring it back to shore if it killed him, Gregory maintained his grip on his fishing pole as he headed to what appeared to be an under-water cave flanked by two lights. Only when he was too close to get away did Gregory realize that the lights were the beady eyes of a giant fish and the cave was the fish's mouth. Desperately, Gregory dropped the fish pole and tried to swim away, but it was too late. In one big gulp, Gregory was gone.

But he was still alive. He was even breathing. He seemed to be in an underwater cave. The floor was wet and slimy, which was to be expected in a cave inside a fish at the bottom of a lake.

"How am I going to get out of this?" Gregory asked himself. "I wish Calibur was here. He'd know what to do."

As he walked about in the slimy dark place aimlessly, Gregory continued to think about Calibur. After a while, he began to think that Calibur should be in the cave with him.

"He knew I had gotten too big a fish on my line," said Gregory to himself. "He knew I was going to get lost down here. So why didn't he jump into the water with me? Why isn't he here now? Since he wouldn't come in here after me, I'm going to be stuck in this cave for the rest of my life, And there isn't anybody here, either."

But Gregory soon found out he was wrong about that. He began to see pricks of light up ahead, much like the city lights one sees from an airplane. Not knowing what else to do, Gregory walked in that direction. The air was getting quite stale, but at least it was air, and he could breathe it.

To Gregory's surprise, it turned out that it really was a city that he was walking towards. The houses and buildings were made of seaweed, but smartly so. Fancy towers leaned dizzily over the streets and ornate balconies adorned the second story windows. Lights shone out of several scattered windows and lamps lined the streets.

Just as Gregory was beginning to think that this city was deserted, he saw a pair of sea horses with a soldier dressed in a green uniform riding on each one. The sea horses trotted sluggishly through the dank air right up to Gregory. The soldiers stared at the intruder wit fishy eyes that betrayed no expression. Their faces, almost identical, looked familiar. They gave Gregory the creepy feeling that he was looking into a mirror in the middle of the night with all the lights out. The seahorses came up even with Gregory, but even then, the soldiers said nothing. They reigned in their seahorses and, with a nod to Gregory, began to return to where they had come from. Gregory understood that he was expected to follow, so he did.

From time to time, a human face, looking as impassive as the soldiers, would poke out of a window and look at Gregory. A minnow swam through the air without even giving the visitor a second glance. A couple of times Gregory saw a frog or a toad hop down one of the streets away from him.

In the middle of the city, there was a throne made of barnacles. On the throne, there sat a king. He wore a coral crown and he held a trident in his right hand. His beared was made of seaweed and his robes flowed like a waterfall. He looked at Gregory with sharp eyes. Gregory was speechless. The king made him feel that he was being examined for everything he had done and even everything he had thought about doing. As time went on, Gregory would hear the click of a shutter opening and another face would look out and stare at him. Gradually, little by little, seahorses would approach the throne. On the seahorses there were riders of all ages. What they all had in common is that they, too, stared at Gregory. Along with the seahorses, there came toads and frogs. Some of the toads had horns in front of their heads that made them look even uglier than the other toads and frogs. They crouched in front of the seahorses and stared at Gregory. In this dark city, before the king's stern look and the stares of all the people who lived there, nothing that Gregory had done or thought of doing seemed very good.

The King spoke not a word. He only waited while Gregory waited for he knew not what. At last, one of the ugliest of the horned toads came forth and stood before the throne next to Gregory. The toad looked up at Gregory with round eyes that looked friendly. The only trouble was, Gregory did not feel like making friends with an ugly toad he didn't even know. Meanwhile, the king and the people only stared at Gregory with looks that seemed to blame him for everything that needed anybody to blame. At the last, Gregory lost his patience.

"If Calibur was here," said Gregory, "he would know what to do. But he isn't here. He didn't come with me. So I don't know what to do. Does that mean I have to stand here in front of you for the rest of my life?"

The kind did not answer Gregory. Neither did the king look away. Several of the people sitting on their seahorses began to look very sad. Some were even weeping. The people staring out of their windows looked equally sad. The toads hopped about a little as if agitated about something. The horned toad who had come up next to Gregory continued to look up at him with friendly eyes.

"It isn't my fault that Calibur didn't come with me, is it?" asked Gregory. "It seems to me that it's Calibur's fault that he stayed behind when he could have come and helped me. He always knows what to do in strange places like this."

The king shook his head sadly. More of the people sitting at their windows or on their seahorses began to cry. The king nodded to the horned toad, and the horned toad nudged Gregory's leg with its head. It was too slimy even for Gregory.

"Go away!" yelled Gregory.

And he gave the horned toad a sharp kick. The toad obediently hopped away, but then it looked back to Gregory. Seeing the hurt look in the toad's eyes made Gregory feel far worse than anything the unforgiving king had made him feel. He ran up to the toad, threw his arms around it and cried:

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Instantly, the king and all the people and the seahorses and the frogs and toads surrounding Gregory broke out into a cheer. The city lit up with fireworks exploding in all directions. The horn on the toad's head turned golden and its skin turned white and furry.

"Calibur!" Gregory cried as he threw his arms around his friend again.

By this time, Gregory could have kicked himself for not having recognized Calibur's eyes long before this. As the fireworks flared and the people cheered, Gregory hopped on the back of his pet unicorn. As soon as Gregory was settled, Calibur galloped through the city and then through the cave like a torpedo shot from a battle ship. Calibur flew out of the giant fish's mouth and eluded the monster when it tried to snap its jaws around Gregory for a second time.

Gregory held his breath as he and Calibur rose through the water. When Calibur broke the surface of the lake, Gregory took a deep breath of real air and then he took another. Calibur swam to shore, and then the unicorn trotted up to the back lawn of Gregory's house. Never had the grass looked so fresh before!

"I'm so sorry I doubted you and treated you like that," said Gregory as he patted his unicorn again.

Calibur nuzzled Gregory on the shoulder to show that he understood and that he appreciated the apology. Then they walked up to the house.

Inside the house, Gregory's parents and brother and his sisters were all gathered around the table. In the middle of the table was a birthday cake with all the candles lit. Not only that, but leaning against Gregory's chair at the table was a new fishing pole.